How coming off the pill has affected my mental health
I first went on the pill a couple years ago in September 2017 right before starting my first year at University as i had (and still have) a boyfriend and i felt ready in myself to go be an adult and start taking more control over my own body. I'll admit, i am the type of person to be guilty of parenting themselves, i get thoughts all the time like 'oh but are you allowed to do that? because its not your routine' and 'you cant do this you might not deserve to, you are still kind of a kid'. I have no clue if that's A) because im a weird person, B) because i come from a large family where i got overshadowed by a lot of my siblings so just learned to parent myself or C) its stemmed from my anxiety disorder. This disorder grew a lot after i first went on the pill and now, after a years worth of counselling, reflective thoughts and coming off contraception (temporarily, im twenty i am not looking to have a baby. The looming grad to be fears are there but a panic baby is not the path for me) i am feeling a lot more grounded, comfortable and happy in myself and also in my life.
As i mentioned earlier, i am still with that same boyfriend so i didn't come off contraception because i wasn't as sexually active anymore. I am only off the pill because i decided i was sick of taking it every single day so i am currently waiting for my implant appointment which lasts three years and you don't need to do anything once its in there for that time thus the basis of its appeal. I also suffered a lot mental health wise during my second year at uni last year and said boyfriend had suggested to m me maybe the hormones in the pill weren't helping with my state of mind. I was on the combined pill, that famous Rigevidon in the sexist pink packaging that has received a lot of backlash for the correlations found between taking it and rising female mental health issues. Before this one, i was on another combined pill that came in green packaging but that one made me bleed for over three months so i had to switch. Also i want to note, its been proving very difficult to get my appointment for my implant to be fitted-this weeks will be the third attempt which may have something more to do with staff competency than contraceptive health services.
Before starting Uni i was a very happy person, I've always had a little anxiety which did spike into panic attacks nearing the halfway point of A levels but Sixth form was the best two years of my life.
Controversial as everyone claims uni to take that title but for me, friend wise and circumstance wise uni until the very end of second year was very up and down and honestly kind of hellish. Since coming off contraception around six weeks ago i feel much better and although my friend and circumstance situations have also improved that was several months before i came off the pill. Therefore, i think its fairly safe to assume that my brain really thanks me for making that decision. My theory is; although being on the pill did not cause my situations to be what they are, its just one small pill it cant physically altar your life, it did play a big role in how i dealt with those situations mentally and emotionally. I think its also fair of me to claim that the pill held my emotional capabilities back as i have been in counselling for about a year and it is honestly recently that my long term counselor has been able to get through to me and see effect in my approaches to problems and everyday life. Which isn't because of changing strategies as she has been giving me similar advice and strategies for a long time. I have felt myself gain a lot more control over the past six weeks, a contentment has washed over me that i could have previously only dreamed my future self in around five years time would have. I find i overreact about small things far less frequently than before, i can be more honest and also kinder to myself which i am really proud of.
To anyone on the pill, or any form of contraception that puts hormones into you, i would encourage you to come off them even if only for a month or two like me so you can see if you notice in any difference.
admittedly, i am quite anxious about getting an implant fitted now as i have no idea how well my body will respond to it but, unlike my past self, i will think only of the potential positive outcomes. I wont compulsively think 'what if it goes wrong and i bleed all the time and have to swap back to the pill and that goes on for ages to sort out' i will think 'This could be really good for me. Better than the pill'.
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| Fake friends absent, real smile present. |
As i mentioned earlier, i am still with that same boyfriend so i didn't come off contraception because i wasn't as sexually active anymore. I am only off the pill because i decided i was sick of taking it every single day so i am currently waiting for my implant appointment which lasts three years and you don't need to do anything once its in there for that time thus the basis of its appeal. I also suffered a lot mental health wise during my second year at uni last year and said boyfriend had suggested to m me maybe the hormones in the pill weren't helping with my state of mind. I was on the combined pill, that famous Rigevidon in the sexist pink packaging that has received a lot of backlash for the correlations found between taking it and rising female mental health issues. Before this one, i was on another combined pill that came in green packaging but that one made me bleed for over three months so i had to switch. Also i want to note, its been proving very difficult to get my appointment for my implant to be fitted-this weeks will be the third attempt which may have something more to do with staff competency than contraceptive health services.
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| who isn't happy eating vegan pizza? |
Before starting Uni i was a very happy person, I've always had a little anxiety which did spike into panic attacks nearing the halfway point of A levels but Sixth form was the best two years of my life.
Controversial as everyone claims uni to take that title but for me, friend wise and circumstance wise uni until the very end of second year was very up and down and honestly kind of hellish. Since coming off contraception around six weeks ago i feel much better and although my friend and circumstance situations have also improved that was several months before i came off the pill. Therefore, i think its fairly safe to assume that my brain really thanks me for making that decision. My theory is; although being on the pill did not cause my situations to be what they are, its just one small pill it cant physically altar your life, it did play a big role in how i dealt with those situations mentally and emotionally. I think its also fair of me to claim that the pill held my emotional capabilities back as i have been in counselling for about a year and it is honestly recently that my long term counselor has been able to get through to me and see effect in my approaches to problems and everyday life. Which isn't because of changing strategies as she has been giving me similar advice and strategies for a long time. I have felt myself gain a lot more control over the past six weeks, a contentment has washed over me that i could have previously only dreamed my future self in around five years time would have. I find i overreact about small things far less frequently than before, i can be more honest and also kinder to myself which i am really proud of.
 |
To anyone on the pill, or any form of contraception that puts hormones into you, i would encourage you to come off them even if only for a month or two like me so you can see if you notice in any difference.
admittedly, i am quite anxious about getting an implant fitted now as i have no idea how well my body will respond to it but, unlike my past self, i will think only of the potential positive outcomes. I wont compulsively think 'what if it goes wrong and i bleed all the time and have to swap back to the pill and that goes on for ages to sort out' i will think 'This could be really good for me. Better than the pill'.
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